It was year 2016 when my family started looking for a suitable guy for my marriage. I always believed in the institution of arrange marriages in India so I was always clear to have an arrange marriage too. Each of my family members had their views on what type of person will be best for me and they started searching in their ways. Frankly, I never knew what qualities I wanted in in my life partner. What if the person I choose and say Yes for is not the one for me? But, I had beliefs on my mother’s words that “Jb tumne kabhi kuch galat nhi kiya hai to life partner bhi sahi hi milega tumhe“.
4-5 marriage proposals were rejected by me or by my family. At some point in each of those proposal, there was something which I did not liked. Sometimes it was boy’s attitude, sometimes it was boy’s over the top family. It never seem that I was meeting someone real as if they were pretending to be be someone else which obviously I did not liked and said No.
It was May 2016, when there came one more proposal. My sister and brother-in-law met the boy who was working in Delhi and they liked him. I was informed and his photo and profile was shared with me. The boy has said Yes for me just by meeting my sister and listening details about me, but I asked my family that I would like to meet the guy before I decide. The date was finalised and both of our families decided to meet in Delhi. I took train from Jaipur (where I was working at that time) to Delhi with lots of uncertainties about how will I know: “Is He the one for me? “
The day came and my family was like freaking out about what will happen. I was taught by each of my family members about how to speak, how to behave in front on the boy’s family. I hated my decision of getting arrange marriage at that point, trust me!! It would have been better if I have eloped with some random guy and got married. LOL!! Anyway, we met at a restaurant in nearby mall. After all family conversations, we were asked to go and talk with each other away from our family. We took a round in the mall for hardly 15 minutes. Usual questions he asked and shared some of his points which he thought were required for me to know before I decide anything. I was not prepared with any list of questions. I just tried to understand him by his talks and gesture. Once he and his family left, I was asked about my answer. I said YES…
What made me say Yes? Everybody asked me this question, my family, friends everyone. And my answer was “in those 15 minutes we hardly were able to know about all likes and dislikes of each other. In those normal questions and answers, there was nothing which I can say I have fallen for. But, Yes in those 15 minutes I was also not able to find anything which I disliked about him. And, it was enough for me to decide. “.
Every person has positive and negative qualities and marriage is all about accepting the person with all those qualities. Still, at the time of these rishta meetings, we always try to find out good things in the person. Only positive things are shared about the girl or the boy all around. Instead, we should also try to highlight or find out the negative traits about the person. If you can adjust and live with those weaknesses of the person then only say yes for the marriage.
I am control freak, wake up early in morning, obsessed with cleanliness around me, short tempered, take everything super-seriously, did not know how to cook….even after knowing all these, He said Yes because he knew he can manage with all these points. And He?? He is far away from maintaining cleanliness at home, sleeps till late in the morning, travels a lot for work, takes everything lightly, did not know how to cook…so what?? I knew I can manage with him. So, in total if you know such minor weaknesses in the person and is ready to accept that way..just go for it and say Yes!!
I did the same that day and hence while returning back from Delhi to Jaipur I felt all those filmy stuffs. Smiling alone in the train, feeling those butterflies in stomach and can see the face of the person now whom I used to imagine with me in every romantic song but has never seen his face before.
– Sristi Singh (Blogger)
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